De-constructing mean “pretty” girls.

I don’t tend to have feelings of jealousy towards girls who are “prettier” than me, but I do feel resentful towards girls who act like they are so much better than me just because they meet the current standards of beauty better than I do and make sure I know it. They might say things like, “You’ve broken out again,” although my skin is always in a state of break out so that there’s no need to really point it out like it’s something new or might make comments on my skin colour, “How are you so dark?”. They usually follow this up with things like, “(Some guy) was telling me about how I don’t even have to wear make up,” or “(Some girl) told me that she really loves my skin!” to rub it in my face that their skin is flawless or “(Some girl) told me out of the blue that she’s really jealous of my complexion and I was like what the hell?”

I understand why girls might feel proud of themselves whenever they meet society’s requirements of what is considered beautiful. After all, it’s been hammered into our heads since birth that beauty is our sceptre, our most important attribute in life, the thing that’s going to get us through all of our troubles and get us the ultimate prize and key to our dreams – a man. The culture and society make us feel bad about our bodies and faces and consequently our lives generally, so that when we “succeed” in looking right in one way, we feel as if though we’ve accomplished something worthwhile or great. Some girls, to reinforce the greatness of their accomplishment and specialness, go out of their way to let other girls know that they didn’t succeed at this feat too. By letting them know of their inferiority, their superiority is reinforced and somehow is validated. After all you can’t feel be superior to other girls if they don’t know they’re inferior. Hurt feelings result and then we have a form of “girl-hate.” This is the girl-hate I’m mostly guilty of.

I can’t help hating girls who think they’re awesome just because they look a certain way and try to make other people feel bad by bringing them down so that they can feel superior. I can’t advise people not to hate these girls because sometimes they do make you feel like shit about yourself. But maybe you can try to see the nice parts of their personality which you might be compatible with, if you must interact with such girls.

If you’re a “pretty” girl, try developing other parts of your personality instead of focusing on your looks. In the grand scheme of things looks don’t make you an awesome person and they fade. It’s your personality and character that are going to determine the kinds of friendships you’re going to have and it is friendships and relationships with others which make life worthwhile and an adventure. If people make friends with you because of your looks, then they’re really not friends worth having. They’ll leave you eventually. So instead of trying to look as good as you can, try to be as good as you can instead. Trying to be both can be tiresome so focus on just one.

Girls, who were victims of these “pretty” girls: try and understand that these girls were not born this way. The world made them this way and this is their way of surviving. Just stay out of their way if you can and if you must interact with them for projects or work etc. try to be professional with them or just focus on the nice parts of their personality if such parts exist.

We’re all just trying to get by in this world, and sometimes the things we do to survive just aren’t very nice.