There’s nothing like the new facebook timeline to remind you how little you have going on in your life.
I’m going through my own right now and I swear it looks like the profile of someone you’re not friends with but who didn’t set their privacy settings properly so any old stranger can see some of their activity. Except that it is my profile and I have full access to it. I have nothing up there. While other people’s profiles are taking ages and ages to load because they have so much shit on there, mine loaded with no difficulty at all. You barely had to even scroll much to reach the end of the profile.
Perhaps I should party more. Or maybe, I shouldn’t try to have other people’s idea of a good time. Hanging out with friends part of the day, and spending the rest of it musing over life, my future and my escape into the sunset or maybe even spending it watching a nice movie on my laptop with snacks and a glass of Coke at my side isn’t a bad way to live either. As long as I’m enjoying it.
"Scared but Determined"
It seems as if though inspiration only strikes when I am facing the pressures of school or when I have an exam to study for. Both involve some kind of school work anyway. I did this drawing yesterday while trying to study for an exam that I have tomorrow. She is just part of a plan for something much bigger in the future. This is highly imperfect but the look in her eyes is something that I feel regularly – scared but determined.
I don’t know if other people will see what I see. Maybe not.
This is a drawing I did a while ago while studying for my finals last semester. I call it “Elephant Love.”
I’ve yet to be on a campus where most women weren’t worrying about some aspect of combining marriage, children, and a career. I’ve yet to find one where many men were worrying about the same thing.
I experience this phenomenon regularly with my friends.
It’s sad that whenever I have a discussion with female friends about our future and what we’re going to do with our lives, I hear them building their lives around marriage and having children and cutting studies short so that they can have time to manage it all. And they turn their noses up at the idea of going all the way with academia or not getting married at all. “How can such things make a person happy?” they ask. I counter in my head with, how can monotony, stress and lack of freedom make a person happy? Yes academia and research can be stressful but at least when your marriage inevitably becomes boring, your children have started hating you and your husband has about ten things on his priority list above you, you can still say that, I have accomplished this, I discovered this, I have made a difference in the world that has changed so many lives. Even when your family no longer appreciates you, you will have so many other people who appreciate the difference that you made in their lives.